Sunday, May 30, 2010

Computer Zombie

Because I limit the time my boys get to use the computer, when they are allowed on, they are VERY FOCUSED.

Friday, May 28, 2010

What the Universe is Whispering to Me

Today I was bold.

Yep, that's right. Bold.

I've been trying to pay attention to the what the universe has been saying to me the last few days.

And I heard something.

Two things to be exact.

1. Be Bold. Daring. Move out of my comfort zone.

2. Purification. Time to detox my body, mind and life.

So starting with message one, I decided to be decisive regarding a recent invitation I'd received. It was an invite to celebrate the upcoming Winter Solstice.

This was from a group of lovely ladies that I had discovered online, and chatted with but not yet met in real life. It's easy to talk and chat and be friendly on the internet. I can take my time in what I say, formulate my replies, work out how to be witty/intelligent/light hearted/thoughtful etc etc.

But in real life interactions I don't have that luxury. I say things that later I have a little cringe over. Did I really say that, I wonder later? Yep sure did.

I long to have loads of friends, be the life and soul of the party but that's just not me it seems.
I'm an extrovert trapped in an introverts body.

I'm also a bit of a homebody.

I love my routines, I love my home, I love spending time with my family and going out and doing things interrupts these things.

So to accept this invitation to go and meet new people is a bold move for me. But I'm really very excited about going.

On to message number two (in three parts) :

Purification of my life - going ok so far. Am working on living more simply. That would count. Right?

Purification of my mind - going good too. Trying to live in the now. No stressing etc etc. Big tick for this one.

Purification of my body - ummmm.... the 3 coffees today, butterscotch pudding with ice cream for dessert, and a handful (very very large handful) of lollies earlier makes me think I need to do a bit more work toward achieving this particular one.

It's good to have a goal though.

A far off, somewhere in the distant type of goal.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Simple Living. And changes to this Blog.

Something surprising has come of my new 'living in the now' plan.

The desire to live more simply.

And live in harmony with nature, ie green living.

That may sound strange, but the more I try to slow down my hectic life (and hectic mental state) the more drawn I am to living more simply.

Things like cooking and baking from scratch, spending more time outdoors in nature trying to live in harmony with the seasons, creating a warm and loving home for my family, and even the desire to grow my own vegetables (not sure if this one will ever happen as I have a black thumb not a green one!).

I've taken stock of how we live. And to a degree we do live green and simply.

I don't use harsh cleaning chemicals. Water, soap, vinegar and bleach make up my cleaning products. I make all our meals from scratch, and ensure that they are as healthy as my family will allow. We recycle and reuse many many items. The usual conscientious type things I imagine most families try to do.

But there are so many ways I can improve.

Shorter showers (this would be hard as a long hot shower is one of my luxuries). Save the warm up water from the shower in buckets for the garden or pool. Use less electricity. Don't use commercial baby wipes for Charlie. Buy local organic food.

The list goes on and on.

And can be quite overwhelming.

My usual way to tackle this sort of idea would be to research madly on the internet, make endless lists of things I want to do, and how to do it, then try to introduce it all at once.

Instead this time I will just let the idea sit in my brain till it takes seed all on it's own, and quietly look for ways to gently introduce simple living into our lives when the time comes.

I think I'm learning to overcome my perfectionist tendencies, something I've always wanted to be able to do. To be able to let go, and let things just happen. No need to control and plan things in order for them to be 'perfect' and to ensure nothing goes wrong.

I want to get past all these issues and find the real me inside. Not always striving to be the 'perfect' me I push myself to be.

Gosh I'm getting all deep and meaningful here. This is a self analysis break through.

It seems blogging is like therapy, just cheaper.

I just hope some of my readers out there (if I have any that is!) have a degree in counselling and can offer some sage advice.

At no cost of course please.


After reading what I've written today I think this blog may start to take on a slight variation from what I originally intended. I started this blog just to record all the cute and gorgeous every day moments that make our family laugh, that may otherwise be forgotten in the years to come.

But I think this blog has taken on a life of it's own and is morphing into something more.

It might also become a record of me in a way, the real me as I live my life, through the ups and downs, how I grow and develop. Through my crazy moments and the sane. How I follow my path in life, not even really knowing the destination.

I think in 10 or 20 years I would like to look back at who I really was, to see more than just photos of my boys and amusing anecdotes.

And you never know, when I'm old and grey, my grown up boys might want to find out what their mum was like when she was young and sprightly. I know I would love to read about my mum's life from when I was little.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, there's probably more of 'me' to come.

Be warned.

Life is Slowing Down.

Well actually, I don't think it is.

Life is still as busy and full as ever. But it's me that's slowing down.

In a good way.

Not in an old person needing a walker sort of way.

I'm referring back to this recent post regarding 'living in the now'. As in, stopping my mind frantically jumping ahead to the hours and days to come, planning out what I have to do, when I have to do it, and how I'm going to do it.

Way too much mental energy was being wasted on this. So I resolved to try to 'live in the now'.
And blow me away - it actually works!

It's not yet easy to do, and I keep catching myself mentally cataloguing things to come (and once I even made a schedule for my whole entire day - but ssssh - don't tell anyone) but genereally, so far so good.

No more long lists of tasks and jobs to do. No more finding things to distract the boys so I can get on with my list of chores or work. I work when I can, relax when I can, and try to be more available for my boys.

I smile when they come to talk to me, stop what I'm doing and give them my full attention. Even if the topic is not particularly interesting to me.

Such as the minute differences between the two luxury sports cars that Kaiden is currently obsessing over.

Or the intricacies of the game Corey has been playing on my laptop.

I smile, and nod and try not to hurry their conversation so I can get back to things. I want to be there and be interested in their lives. I feel the moments I have with Kaiden still living here at home slipping through my fingers more and more each day.

I love my boys and want to provided them with loving warm memories of their childhood.

I'm feeling calmer, more centred and a lot less stressed.

AND (this is a biggie)...... even though I've stopped planning everything out in minute detail - THE WORLD IS STILL TURNING.

Who knew!

It's funny actually, whilst I was vacuuming earlier, words were swirling around in my brain about what I wanted to write in this post. But it's turned out nothing like what I had planned.

I can't even remember what I had planned to say.

I just know it wasn't this.

But that's ok.

I'm going with the flow.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Eggs and Soldiers

Recently I made Charlie eggs and soldiers for the first time.

My older boys still love to eat it so I thought it was about time to introduce Charlie to this much loved, quick and easy food.

Even I like to partake of this childhood favourite on occasion.

Me thinks one can never be too old for eggs and soldiers.

Ok, so you dunk the toast like this?

Hmmm, I'm not sure about this but I'll give it a taste.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

You mean there's MORE in there???

I could get used to this. I hope there's another egg coming soon.

And at the end we even turned the empty egg shells up side down and pretended to trick each other that they were new eggs full of yummy yolk ready to crack with the spoon.

Charlie thought it was hysterical.

I love that it's so easy to please a toddler.

And his big brothers.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Letting go

A few weeks ago Kaiden went off on exercise with the Army Cadets for the weekend.

I still feel a pang when he goes away. In my heart he'll always be my baby. Sshhh don't tell him though, he'll get all embarrassed.

My first precious baby. Even though he's nearly 15 and taller than I am.

On the day of leaving he packs what he needs to survive for the weekend.

Essentials you might say.

Such as his new coloured filter torch and a bucket full of lollies.

Essential survival gear that is.

It takes FOREVER to do up laces this long.

I made sure he did also pack warm clothes and his hootchie (ground sheet to make a tent). Can't have my precious baby getting cold now, can I?

All ready to go and do manly things for the weekend - hooyah!

So I drop him off, trying to act all cool and not let my mum emotions show too much. I settle for loving words and a quick hug, before he walks nochalantly off with his mates.

Oh my baby!

All weekend half my mind is with him at camp. Is he having a good time? Is he warm enough? Has he had enough to eat? What if he gets lost in the bush??????

I have to keep giving myself a mental shake, he is 15 for goodness sake. He'll be FINE.

Then finally it's time to pick him up. I wait in the car whilst they scurry around unpacking the trucks, eyes searching the crowd of Aus-cam clad bodies, looking for the familiar shape of his back, or to catch a glimpse of his profile in the crowd.

Aaahh, there he is. My precious little baby.

See mum I'm fine. Stop being such a worry-wort.

Back safe and sound.

Back tired, happy and more than a little dirty.

Oh by the way mum, we didn't have the chance to wash all weekend.

And oh so smelly. Eewww!

Now go have a shower.

My precious baby.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Sad Sad Story

I had the following conversation with Charlie the other day, whilst we were in the car.

(And when I stop to think that Charlie is still months away from turning two, I'm blown away by how developed his language, imagination and understanding of things is.)

"Charlie, we're on our way to get Corey from school".

"I see Corey"

"You do, where?
". Reasonable question considering we were nowhere near the school.

"In tree".

"And what's Corey doing in the tree?".

"Climbing up".

"Why is Corey in the tree?".

"Getting blue ball".

"So, he's climbing up the tree to get a blue ball?".

, accompanied by vigorous nodding.

"Then what happens?"

"Corey fall".

"Corey fell out of the tree?".


"That's quite a story".

He nodded solemnly. "Sad, sad story".

Friday, May 21, 2010

The Now

Over the past day, I've had a chance to catch up on reading a few blogs, which I don't get to do often enough. You know, no time and all that.

As I read one post after another, I see a pattern - I think the universe was sending me a message.

Yes, via blog post.

It seems the universe is remarkably up to date with modern technology. It'll be opening a Twitter account soon, I'm sure.

So the message I got was, would you believe it, TO SLOW DOWN.

Like, duh? Really?

Of course I know I need to slow down, smell the roses, focus on the journey not the destination etc etc, but usually real life seems to get in the way of this.

Sometimes a little extra motivation is needed. And that's what I got.

Reading about others, some living similar lives to me, some totally different, write about how they need to or how they are taking life one moment at a time, was great incentive. If all these other people can try and/or achieve this, why am I always so busy and stressed?

So my goal is to live in the 'now'.

That might sound all new age-y to some, but if I can let go of analysing what's just happened and most of all let go of stressing over what's to come, I know that will be a good thing.

Currently, my 'now' is a screaming almost two year old determined to climb onto my lap whilst I'm simultaneously typing and drinking a hot cup of tea.

Here's to living in the now.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

School life

Kaiden has had his Yr 10 exams all this week, and I've been so proud of him. Last week he planned out his study schedule.

Kaiden and schedule. Two words I thought I'd never put into the same sentence.

In a positive way that is.

He has been focused and studied hard each afternoon, without complaint and without procrastination.

The only problem is the music.

VERY LOUD MUSIC that emanates from his room whilst he's studying. Apparently it's the best way to study as the loud music drowns out any other distractions. Okay.

Charlie, after hearing the 'doof doof doof' resonating from Kaiden's room, innocently asked "Kaiden stomping?".

Yes, darling boy, Kaiden may actually be stomping in there. Who knows?

After a recent debacle regarding Corey applying for the Academic Extension program at the High School next year, all has ended well (so far). I rang the school and luckily the teacher in charge of the program was a very wise man, and had ordered extra exam papers just in case of late applications arriving.

I breathed a very big sigh of relief, that I hadn't ruined my son's future.

So bright and early one recent Saturday morning, Corey showed up at the High School to sit his exam. He wasn't nervous at all. Cool as a cucumber my boy.

But there was something that was bothering him a little.

3 1/2 hours of exams about to begin?


It was the fact that he had to show up in school uniform.


How is a boy supposed to cope?

But he felt confident, so we shall wait for the results and see.

Both boys have also applied for the Soccer Excellence program at the High School next year, applications are due tomorrow. And yes I checked the date this time!

Multiple forms had to be completed, one of which was to be completed by the boys themselves. Question 4 was "Why do you wish to join the Soccer Excellence Program?'.

Relatively easy right?

Ah, not so. It was like pulling teeth trying to get them to articulate a decent answer.

Somehow the following two initial answer weren't quite right:

"I want to join because I'm not in any special programs and I want to be".

"I want to join because I like soccer".

Somehow I think they're looking for a bit more than that.

Trials commence next week, so once again, we shall wait and see.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

A question of (musical) taste

Charlie can be very fickle with his music preferences.

One minute all he wants is Ska music, the song Monkey Man in particular. This is his father's influence. I think he's trying to make Charlie into a mini-Mod. At 9 months old Charlie was listening to the Sex Pistol's "Anarchy in the UK". And he loved it.

God help us.

Next minute his musical taste swings to Mozart, then to the Wiggles, on to modern rock. I think you get the picture.

All through this, we have at least had one constant.

The bedtime song.

Usually I sing Twinkle Twinkle, occassionally veering to the Sky Boat Song. But always soothing and mellow and conducive to sleep.

Until the other evening.

"Tiger song, Mummy. Tiger song. Pleeeaaasssse."

Not the most appropriate bedtime song, son, but who am I to stifle your musical exploration?

I hereby present Charlie's new bedtime song - "The Tiger Song". (And yes I have learnt to sing it, well the chorus at least. The things we do for our kids, eh?).

Friday, May 14, 2010

Oh, for goodness sake.

Having a 21 month old around who is learning and parroting words at a rapid pace, certainly makes one watch their tongue.

I try to be a good parent. My children are loved and cherished, well fed, clean and tidy and demonstrate good manners (generally, but you can always count on kids to show you up though). And we don't allow swearing or talking back either.

When the bigger boys were toddlers, we didn't have too many problems with inappropriate speech.

Unless you count Kaiden replacing the 'tr' of truck, with an 'f'. That did take a bit of explaining, I'll admit.

But it was a completely innocent mispronunciation.

I swear.

And as toddler Corey had a slight speech problem, in that he spoke so unclearly that we needed Kaiden to translate, as he was the only one who could understand Corey for quite some time.

And now I think of it, for all I know Corey could of been cursing with every second word back then. Hmmmm.

Once Kaiden did try swearing at me, when he was about 6 years old. Punishment was swift.

And soapy.

Yes, I used the same method as one does for lying, and washed his mouth out with soap. I know, I know. But it was only a tiny little bit and suffice to say he learnt that lesson well.

But back to today.

And Charlie.

It's recently come to my attention that when, on occassion, I need to.... ahh, let's say.... 'reprimand' the two older boys for their behaviour, I obviously repeat similar words each time.

Very similar words.

Along the lines of "Oh for goodness sake boys, blah blah blah (insert appropriate ranting and raving here) .........."

With especial emphasis and passion on one particular part.

How do I know this, you may ask.

Well, frequently, way to frequently in fact, I hear Charlie muttering under his breath "oh sake".

He'll be walking along, drop a toy accidentally and then state "oh sake".

Or his block tower will collapse in front of him. "Oh sake".

Or for no apparent reason. "Oh sake".

Then he'll look at me with a little half smile, as if to say "how on earth is one expected to cope with this? I know you understand, Mummy".

I think that's what they call a PARENTING FAIL.

Oh, for goodness sake.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Hello...... is anyone still out there???

So. Yeah.

I'm still here.

I'm not quite sure what's gone on this past week and a half. Life, I guess.

My difficult, busy, demanding, eccentric life.

Things got to the point where something had to give, and for a short time that thing was this blog. That and a decent amount of sleep.

Nothing dramatic or different than usual was going on, just having a tiny bit of difficulty with the logistics of trying to fit 30 hours worth of stuff into each 24 hour period.

Also, I'm finding that my unfit and older than I remember body is taking it's time adjusting to the demands of getting back into martial arts training.

In fact, I get the distinct feeling that my body is rebelling against me. You know, having a bit of a tantrum over my recent harsh treatment of it. As if a tantrum-ing almost 2 yr old isn't enough, now my body gets in on the act. Sheesh!!

Just the other night I copped a hard round house kick on the outer thigh from a guy who must be at least 8 foot tall.

I'll spare you the pain filled details - but OUCH!

I'm still hobbling.

So after that, and a few other minor fight related injuries (how bad-ass do I sound?), I thought I would try to reach a truce with my body and took tonight off from training. I'm hoping I'll be fighting fit (nice pun eh?) by next session.

This is not me. This is actually Mrs Sharon Serdinsky from the US, a 5th Degree Black Belt.
She is kindly acting as my photo stand in.
You really don't want a photo of me mid-session. Trust me.
Instead, imagine if you will, a much less flexible version of this woman, panting for breathe, with trembling limbs and bucket loads of sweat.
Then you might be close.

To recap : I think I'm finally back on top of work, kids seem to be organised for upcoming exams and sporting commitments, and so I shall endeavor to post a bit more of what things having been and are going on in our crazy lives.

That and try to get a decent amount of sleep.

Monday, May 3, 2010

The other day I couldn't find Charlie.

I could hear him outside though.


Oh, I see. Time to play hide and seek.

He's not under the table.

He's not hiding down the side of the patio.

And he's not hiding next to the shed...

or in his corner behind the (unused) exercise equipement.

Hmmm, I wonder?

The giggling isn't the only clue.

"Awww Mummy, you found me".

Charlie is currently obsessed with Del's scooter.

Yes we see the lights, Charlie.

Life is never dull around here.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Say Hello......

Say hello to Foggy everyone.

Isn't he just the cutest thing you've ever seen?

My mum adopted him the other day after he had been found abandoned, poor darling.

But now he has a loving home, lots of cuddles and all the pink shoelaces to play with that his little heart could desire.

I can't wait to meet him in person.

And I know Charlie would just love to cuddle him for hours and hours. Not sure if Foggy would appreciate that sort of love though.