As I sit at our kitchen bench, with Charlie on my lap, tapping this out on my laptop and listening to the spring rain gently falling, I feel content.
Very, very overwhelmingly tired but also content.
Recent events have made me stop and notice all the things I have to be thankful for. Uppermost in my mind right now is thankfulness that Charlie has come through his terrible ordeal with glandular fever and a horrific reaction to penicillin. I know that the recovery period can be long but I am thankful he is in the recovery phase.
The rash resulting from a reaction to amoxicillin. This rash turned out to be worse than the glandular fever - causing horrific itching, pain and bruising all over his body.
It has been such a harrowing experience for all of us these last 6 weeks.When seeing the doctor the other day for a check up, he said that he was glad to see us come in, as he had been very concerned and made the comment that "not knowing if Charlie was lying in hospital still or dead had been difficult". That made me stop still. Dead? That certainly helps put things into perspective.
But we are on the other side now, we can move on with our lives, and this period will become just a terrible memory of Charlie's childhood.
Repeated bathing in Pinetarsol (made from pine tree sap) helped relieve the itching temporarily. But many sleepless nights were had. His skin become so sensitive that to cuddle him caused pain and bruising.
I'm a firm believer that the things that happen in our lives happen for a reason. And this recent experience is no different. It can sometimes take a little thought to figure out the reason.
Did it open a new door in our life? Or close one?
Did it confirm we are on the right path, or the wrong one?
Did it make us stronger, softer, more patient?
Or perhaps we can just learn and grow from it.
After thinking on things as I held my ill little boy in my arms, as he itched and cried, said he was in pain, I could take from this trying time, that it's just confirming my need to learn to focus only on the now.
I've blogged about this before, my need to learn this lesson. Focussing on the now, on what is happening right this second, will ensure I don't borrow stress from what is to come, or from what has been.
I want to be able to enjoy every second of this life, to feel contentment and peace. No more rushing and stress.
But, like most people, my life is busy and rushed. And quite often stressed. So I forget and fall back into old habits.
I'm a work in progress, I guess.
But I'm ok with that. I'm overwhelmingly happy with my life, my family, my home. That's not to say I won't have bad days. But I'm content enough within myself to get through them.
And so I think I'm now ready to come back into the blogging world again, sharing little tidbits of my eccentric and wonderful life. Some bits interesting, some funny, some deep and meaningful.
And quite a few superficial and trivial ones. (Fashionable Friday, anyone?)