Saturday, March 9, 2013

My Eccentricity - again!

It's been a while hasn't it? Shall I hand in my absentee note now?

This is me, by the way (just in case you'd forgotten what I look like. And yes, I cut most of my hair off, and have gone even shorter since this photo was taken. Just for kicks.) :

Ignore the blurry bit in the upper right corner. My 15 yr old needs to work on Photography 101 - keep your finger out of frame!

What prompted such an extended break from the blogging world, I hear you ask.

Well, that's easy to answer. Life has been happening. Glorious, busy, joyful, stressful, fun, hard, living in the moment life.

Family time together.
For a long time I have been chasing the 'ideal' life that I see in my mind's eye. A loving, peaceful mama with well behaved, happy children, a husband home from work with a smile and offer to help out with dinner or play with the children. The mama cheerfully working in the home, house gleaming and tidy giving the feeling of a job well done, whilst simultaneously juggling working 30 hours a week with ease and a high level of proficiency. Healthy, home cooked, home grown organic meal, infused with the love of the chef and she hums as she bakes and cooks. Family time in the evening, reading nourishing books, listening to uplifting music, walks in nature and excursions to fun and wonderful places together.

Sounds lovely to me. My ideal, happy, eccentrically unique life that I can envision in my mind.

The reality? Well, not quite meeting those ambitious expectations. Not even close.

The Mama : loving and peaceful - yes. But also tired, grouchy and if truth be told, a little selfish with precious time to herself.

The Children : well behaved and happy - yes, some of the time. And some of the time more like loud, arguing and demanding, both of each other and the poor stressed mama.

Charlie the Earth Guardian
 The Husband : home with a smile and offer to help out - yes. But some days, he is also tired, stressed and acts human and not the demi god I view him as.

The House : oh the house! Yes, parts are gleaming and tidy, but not the neglected glass shower screens that can barely be seen through (great for privacy!) and those floor that only get spot cleaned when necessary. A quick run around cleaning on a Saturday or before guests has been the extent of things.

The Work : yes 30 hours a week is done, but in fits and starts and often late at night to make up time. Sit down to work at the computer and beeeeep, the washing machine has finished, sit down again and "Mummy I'm hungry", sit down again and realise that another coffee is necessary in order to concentrate fully.

Surely I must be doing something right to get a card like this.
The Meals : healthy, home cooked organic food - yes, most of the time, but there are nights of eggs on toast, or take out from the fish and chip shop up the road too. Organic produce has lessened as time and funds to obtain it have decreased (boy, is eating organic expensive!). Weekend lunches around here, have become a "help yourself as Mama's too tired to bother" type of situation. Thankfully, my teenagers know how to prepare a gourmet bowl of cereal in my culinary absence. At least it's healthy.

Family time :  reading nourishing books, music, walks and excursions  - yes these wonderful cherished moments do happen. But they take forthought, and some planning, and you know what, sometimes I'm just too tired to be the happy inspiring one, dragging reluctant teenagers to play a board game with me and their 4 year old brother. There are also many times where I find each of us in this five person household in a different room, each occupied by electronic devices. Nothing like family interaction via Facebook chats when you're only a room apart!

Brotherly love!
So after this rather long winded overview of the reality of life, I can see that life has good moments, and also has not so good moments. I have to face the reality that the ideal life I picture in my mind's eye is just a figment of my vivid and rather ambitious imagination. It's never going to be like that all the time and I need to ease up on my perfectionist nature that feels like I've failed if I don't get a gold medallion for Best Mother, Wife, HomeMaker etc etc ......

I had stopped blogging what seems like eons ago now, as I felt that I didn't have the time for achieving the perfect life as well as time for this blog. That this was one thing, just one little thing that I could let go and suddenly all would be fall into place and I would have that ideal life. Also if I couldn't produce an interesting and witty enough post on a regular basis, why bother at all? Reasons that felt valid at the time.

Ahhh, the folly of youth! (What? I WAS more youthful then, even if it was only a short time ago. We age every second, you know.)

Kaiden just before his High School Graduation

So the reason for finally getting back to this blog?

I enjoy writing it. I like getting my thoughts out. I like using my creativity and not just to come up with 'creative' solutions to sibling arguments, or the best way to creatively make a play dough fire truck. I think documenting family life is a wonderful exercise both at the time of writing, as it gives one a more third person perspective, and also to be able to look back at the stories and photos that make up our family history.

Corey - 15 and as funny as ever!

Incorporating blogging back into my life is a positive thing. Into a life imperfect when compared to the unrealistic ideal in my head, a life full of unique happenings, twists and turns, ups and downs. An life full of eccentricity.

No comments:

Post a Comment