My Eccentricity - again!

It's been a while hasn't it? Shall I hand in my absentee note now?

This is me, by the way (just in case you'd forgotten what I look like. And yes, I cut most of my hair off, and have gone even shorter since this photo was taken. Just for kicks.) :

Ignore the blurry bit in the upper right corner. My 15 yr old needs to work on Photography 101 - keep your finger out of frame!

What prompted such an extended break from the blogging world, I hear you ask.

Well, that's easy to answer. Life has been happening. Glorious, busy, joyful, stressful, fun, hard, living in the moment life.

Family time together.

For a long time I have been chasing the 'ideal' life that I see in my mind's eye. A loving, peaceful mama with well behaved, happy children, a husband home from work with a smile and offer to help out with dinner or play with the children. The mama cheerfully working in the home, house gleaming and tidy giving the feeling of a job well done, whilst simultaneously juggling working 30 hours a week with ease and a high level of proficiency. Healthy, home cooked, home grown organic meal, infused with the love of the chef and she hums as she bakes and cooks. Family time in the evening, reading nourishing books, listening to uplifting music, walks in nature and excursions to fun and wonderful places together.



Sounds lovely to me. My ideal, happy, eccentrically unique life that I can envision in my mind.

The reality? Well, not quite meeting those ambitious expectations. Not even close.

The Mama : loving and peaceful - yes. But also tired, grouchy and if truth be told, a little selfish with precious time to herself.

The Children : well behaved and happy - yes, some of the time. And some of the time more like loud, arguing and demanding, both of each other and the poor stressed mama.

Charlie the Earth Guardian

 The Husband : home with a smile and offer to help out - yes. But some days, he is also tired, stressed and acts human and not the demi god I view him as.

The House : oh the house! Yes, parts are gleaming and tidy, but not the neglected glass shower screens that can barely be seen through (great for privacy!) and those floor that only get spot cleaned when necessary. A quick run around cleaning on a Saturday or before guests has been the extent of things.

The Work : yes 30 hours a week is done, but in fits and starts and often late at night to make up time. Sit down to work at the computer and beeeeep, the washing machine has finished, sit down again and "Mummy I'm hungry", sit down again and realise that another coffee is necessary in order to concentrate fully.

Surely I must be doing something right to get a card like this.

The Meals : healthy, home cooked organic food - yes, most of the time, but there are nights of eggs on toast, or take out from the fish and chip shop up the road too. Organic produce has lessened as time and funds to obtain it have decreased (boy, is eating organic expensive!). Weekend lunches around here, have become a "help yourself as Mama's too tired to bother" type of situation. Thankfully, my teenagers know how to prepare a gourmet bowl of cereal in my culinary absence. At least it's healthy.

Family time :  reading nourishing books, music, walks and excursions  - yes these wonderful cherished moments do happen. But they take forthought, and some planning, and you know what, sometimes I'm just too tired to be the happy inspiring one, dragging reluctant teenagers to play a board game with me and their 4 year old brother. There are also many times where I find each of us in this five person household in a different room, each occupied by electronic devices. Nothing like family interaction via Facebook chats when you're only a room apart!

Brotherly love!

So after this rather long winded overview of the reality of life, I can see that life has good moments, and also has not so good moments. I have to face the reality that the ideal life I picture in my mind's eye is just a figment of my vivid and rather ambitious imagination. It's never going to be like that all the time and I need to ease up on my perfectionist nature that feels like I've failed if I don't get a gold medallion for Best Mother, Wife, HomeMaker etc etc ......

I had stopped blogging what seems like eons ago now, as I felt that I didn't have the time for achieving the perfect life as well as time for this blog. That this was one thing, just one little thing that I could let go and suddenly all would be fall into place and I would have that ideal life. Also if I couldn't produce an interesting and witty enough post on a regular basis, why bother at all? Reasons that felt valid at the time.

Ahhh, the folly of youth! (What? I WAS more youthful then, even if it was only a short time ago. We age every second, you know.)

Kaiden just before his High School Graduation

So the reason for finally getting back to this blog?

I enjoy writing it. I like getting my thoughts out. I like using my creativity and not just to come up with 'creative' solutions to sibling arguments, or the best way to creatively make a play dough fire truck. I think documenting family life is a wonderful exercise both at the time of writing, as it gives one a more third person perspective, and also to be able to look back at the stories and photos that make up our family history.

Corey - 15 and as funny as ever!

Incorporating blogging back into my life is a positive thing. Into a life imperfect when compared to the unrealistic ideal in my head, a life full of unique happenings, twists and turns, ups and downs. An life full of eccentricity.

Living in the moment.

As I pass through the door to go outside, carrying a basket of freshly washed clothes to hang in the blossom scented warm air, I stop, breathe and remind myself that this is the now, to just live in the moment.

How wonderful it is.

I hear the calls of the black cockatoos feasting on the bright red Callistemon flowers outside my home, so I stop for a moment, unbolt the front door and stand on the front grass (still in my pajamas!) and watch the magic of nature.

How wonderful it is.

Checking on my littlest boy, finally sleeping soundly, I gently kiss his cheek. Checking on my two older boys, stretched out long and lanky in their beds, one of them snoring quietly in his sleep, I also gently kiss their cheeks, and marvel at the joy of being a mother.

How wonderful it is.

Wandering outside to pick fresh produce from my garden, ready for our simple, natural and tasty family dinner that night, the freshest of fresh lettuce leaves, sugar snap peas that really snap, and delicious parsley to flavour our meal, I am thankful for the bounty of this Earth.

How wonderful it is.

Snuggling into warmed sheets at night, content that my family is tucked up safe and warm dreaming their special dreams, knowing that all I need to focus on is this moment, nothing else needs attention, my mind and body are free to rest. And dream. And hope.

How wonderful it is.

The Secret

Anyone out there read the book 'The Secret'? Or seen the film?

I've just finished reading the book for third time, and it's one I plan to read over and over again. Till it all sinks in and stays there.

In a nutshell the big secret is........

.... the law of attraction.

Like attracts like.

Think positive and it will happen. And all that jazz. It's sounds simplistic and it is. But it's oh so powerful.

In the book it talks about people learning the secret and wanting 'proof' that it works, so they ask for something specific like finding a feather or an unusual object coming to them. Such an unusual and unlikely thing, that it confirms for them the power of The Secret.

So I thought, if it worked for them, it will work for me.

So I followed the steps.

1) Ask : state what it is you want to happen in a positive way.

2) Believe : really really believe it will happen, with no shadow of doubt. Visualise yourself receiving the thing, holding it, seeing it or hearing it. Really feel as if it's already happened, like a memory you're reliving.

3) Receive : be open to it occurring, be aware of things around you. Don't be so caught up in the treadmill of life that you don't notice.

For two whole days I did these three steps over and over, whenever I thought of it, in quiet moments and before I fell asleep at night.

Ask, believe, receive. Ask, believe, receive.

Then I let it go. I thought no more of it, I let the universe take over and make it happen.

Then having forgotten all about it, three days later I was astonished to receive this :



Well, blow me down. The Secret works.

You see, I had asked that within the week for someone to tell me I was wonderful or something I did was wonderful. Call me needy and wanting praise all you like, but when I was trying to think of what I wanted to ask for, that thought just popped into my mind, so I just went with it.

Please have someone tell me that what I'm doing is wonderful. Not just a good job or a thanks for that type of comment, but something extra and unexpected.

And this postcard from Renshi Graham (my martial arts instructor) was certainly unexpected. I had never received anything like it before, and neither had Kaiden or Corey. I was amazed. It worked. It really worked.

Then just to top things off, and complete the lesson that like attracts like and one good thing leads to another, something else wonderful happened.

I went to our local second hand bookshop specifically to buy the first book in a series I love, that I had read but didn't have a copy of. I asked if they had any books by the author but all they had were other ones I had already read. I expressed to the lady that I was a bit disappointed as I was really hoping for a particular book.

She looked at me funny for a moment, then reached behind the counter and pulled out the exact book!

The publishers rep had been to her shop just the day before and left a copy of the book I wanted. It was a 'not for sale' copy, just for the owner of the shop to read if she so wished.

But instead she gave it to me. For free.

I could hardly believe it! Perhaps these are both something that could be passed off as coincidence and luck, but I'm sure you've all heard the saying "we make our own luck".

I'm now trying to apply The Secret all the time. It will take time to be able to learn all the things to apply to my life, to have them sink in and be a natural part of who I am, but I now believe with all that I am, that I can create my life.

I urge you to read the book or watch the film.

At least watch the clip below if you have time (it's the first 20 minutes of the film). I would love for you all to give it a go and see what amazing things happen.

Why I love the Australian Summer.....

...... night swimming during a thunder storm.



Bliss.

Stress-less or Stress-free?

I apologise for no Fashionable & Fabulous Friday post yesterday. Life has been too..... hectic, distracting and unfullfilling lately.

I've noticed my tension increasing, the clench of my jaw tightening, that tell tale sign of stress within me.

I don't want to feel like this.

Surely there is more to life than the hamster wheel of work, house, kids and commitments?

I want to stress less. No. Scratch that. I want to be stress free.

I found myself needing something, something that's been missing. Then I realised.

I haven't meditated in such a long time.

I've let the distractions of the mundane duties of life... well, I've let them distract me from the moments that make me smile and relax.

So I took a quiet moment to go back to The Meditation Society of Australia website, and restart the free meditation course they offer.



Within minutes the tension had eased.

Eased but not yet gone. I think that will take a little more time and consistency. But it's a start.

The lesson I did was titled 'The Meaning of Life' and was just so fitting for how I've been feeling lately. Here's a short extract :

Wisdom is simple; it is knowledge that craves complexity.

One of the main sources of stress is not having clear life directions or goals. So often we are caught by the urgent things in our lives – our material responsibilities and day-to-day struggles – that they create their own vicious cycle within our minds. This is what we may know as the 'tension loop’.

The 'tension loop' confuses meaning with movement.

Just like a computer, the mind processes data from many sources. The more programs you run in a computer, the less time it can spend on each program before having to go and process a little more of the next. The time the computer spends switching from program to program makes the computer run slower and slower until it may break down or stop.

The mind works in the same way. Only our programs that run around in circles using up the minds resources are our fears, anxieties, doubts and worries. As we run out of resources, the mind (unlike a computer) speeds up. It becomes so involved by the number of things that it has to do that it spends more and more of its time switching from one to the other, drawing us further into the superficial and further away from the analytical and obviously the intuitive or meditative levels. We find that we can’t concentrate for very long, we’re flighty and scattered and it is self-compounding. This 'tension loop' can be permanently transformed only through calming the mind and allowing a deepening of our awareness. We need to identify the negative thought patterns in our lives and transform them into positives. For example, worries are perhaps the most insidious of all negative thought patterns as within the mind they are like a program that loops or is never completed. They use resources, create stress, and are happiest when nothing is ever resolved or an ‘end-point’ reached.

In the end, however, the real problem is not so much that we may be stressed or sick or having a nervous breakdown, the real problem is that we have confused ‘busy-ness’ with our life meaning. Meaningful goals become less and less clearly identified.

If like me you've felt stressed and overwhelmed by the demands of an everyday, modern life, then please feel free to take a quick look at the website and maybe even listen to one of the short, free meditations they offer.

Trust me, you'll feel better for it.

The New Year, and Lots of Lovely Nothingness.

As I sit here typing up this post at my new desk, given to me a Christmas gift from my wonderful husband, I look around my home.


My stylish new desk! I'm almost tempted to start back at work a week early in order to make full use of it. Almost.


And I feel full and content.

Little Charlie is asleep, my two older boys are outside fixing up a scooter so they can ride to the local deli to buy ice cream, my hardworking husband is ... well... out working, and I am luxuriating in the benefits of having an extended period of time off work.


Important work being undertaken.

I can potter around my home to my heart's content, doing a little bit here and there as the mood strikes me, resting and reading as and when I want to. A little bit of swimming here and there with all my boys, much playing of cars and trains with Charlie and lots of indulgent eating is going on around here.


Percy, friend of Thomas.
It seems I'm usually relegated to being Percy, while Charlie stars as Thomas. Only fair I suppose given it's Charlie's production.


This quiet, simple life fills me with joy. It's a wonderful novelty to have two whole weeks off work, and in the summer holidays too.

This may all sound sickeningly sweet and essentially boring, to those of you rushing through your life with so many things pulling you this way and that, to the point where you fall into bed at night exhausted, but my intent is not to inflict my contentedness upon you, but simply to...... hmmm.... express how I'm feeling right now, I guess.

That's what one's own blog is for, right?


The view from my desk.


But I am aware that all too soon, this idyllic summer break will be over for me.

I'll be back to juggling work, children and home. But after a lovely little break such as I've had, my batteries will be fully charged and ready to take on all the little daily challenges life will throw my way, be ready to grasp opportunities to grow as they materialise and be ready to cope with any sleepless nights yet to come.

January has been a wonderful start to what I intentionally predict to be a magnificent year for my family. Under the influence of this Capricorn month, grand and ambitious plans are being laid that will alter our future in most wonderful and fulfilling ways. I look forward to the fruition of our dreams as the year progresses.

(And, no, I'm not pregnant, nor planning to be. Just in case that thought crossed anyone's mind!!!)



View of our 'Library' from my desk.


Kaiden and Corey are on their summer break till February, which means a whole month remains of sleeping late, swimming and lazing around for them.

I envision come the beginning of February, it will be a rude shock for them to have to conform back to the society standard of a life regulated by the clock. Poor dears!



Creative Corey. Made from skateboard and scooter parts.


One thing I'm excited to report is that the power of intention has manifested beautifully in my life recently.

My life is magnificent.

And the more often I say, the more it magnifies the magnificence!

Ask. Believe. Receive. The Secret.

I feel I'm achieving my aim of living in the now, and I'm loving it.

And I sincerely wish the same for all of you.

With all my heart.

This book .....

.... is one I can't recommend highly enough.

Although not Buddhist myself, the concepts, ideas and strategies detailed in this wonderful book have enriched my journey through motherhood greatly.

I would recommend it to every mother.

Buddhism for Mothers : A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children - by Sarah Napthali can be found at Amazon Books (which is where I got it from).

Please treat yourself and read this book.

You and your children deserve it.

Contented Days

As I sit at our kitchen bench, with Charlie on my lap, tapping this out on my laptop and listening to the spring rain gently falling, I feel content.

Very, very overwhelmingly tired but also content.

Recent events have made me stop and notice all the things I have to be thankful for. Uppermost in my mind right now is thankfulness that Charlie has come through his terrible ordeal with glandular fever and a horrific reaction to penicillin. I know that the recovery period can be long but I am thankful he is in the recovery phase.


The rash resulting from a reaction to amoxicillin. This rash turned out to be worse than the glandular fever - causing horrific itching, pain and bruising all over his body.

It has been such a harrowing experience for all of us these last 6 weeks.When seeing the doctor the other day for a check up, he said that he was glad to see us come in, as he had been very concerned and made the comment that "not knowing if Charlie was lying in hospital still or dead had been difficult". That made me stop still. Dead? That certainly helps put things into perspective.

But we are on the other side now, we can move on with our lives, and this period will become just a terrible memory of Charlie's childhood.


Repeated bathing in Pinetarsol (made from pine tree sap) helped relieve the itching temporarily. But many sleepless nights were had. His skin become so sensitive that to cuddle him caused pain and bruising.

I'm a firm believer that the things that happen in our lives happen for a reason. And this recent experience is no different. It can sometimes take a little thought to figure out the reason.

Did it open a new door in our life? Or close one?

Did it confirm we are on the right path, or the wrong one?

Did it make us stronger, softer, more patient?

Or perhaps we can just learn and grow from it.

After thinking on things as I held my ill little boy in my arms, as he itched and cried, said he was in pain, I could take from this trying time, that it's just confirming my need to learn to focus only on the now.

I've blogged about this before, my need to learn this lesson. Focussing on the now, on what is happening right this second, will ensure I don't borrow stress from what is to come, or from what has been.

I want to be able to enjoy every second of this life, to feel contentment and peace. No more rushing and stress.

But, like most people, my life is busy and rushed. And quite often stressed. So I forget and fall back into old habits.

I'm a work in progress, I guess.

But I'm ok with that. I'm overwhelmingly happy with my life, my family, my home. That's not to say I won't have bad days. But I'm content enough within myself to get through them.

And so I think I'm now ready to come back into the blogging world again, sharing little tidbits of my eccentric and wonderful life. Some bits interesting, some funny, some deep and meaningful.

And quite a few superficial and trivial ones. (Fashionable Friday, anyone?)

In the past few days, 4 things that have made me smile......

1. Having followed Charlie's instruction to lay down on the rug with him, he pats my arms and says "Good boy, Mummy, good boy".

2. Walking into the room to find Bob the Builder on tv, with an almost 15 year old watching it alone, as even though it was long after little Charlie had wandered off, he needed to keep watching to see how it ended.

3. Being woken at midnight by the sound of Charlie singing 'The Wheels on the Bus" to himself in his cot until he falls back to sleep.

4. Corey on arriving home after being away at a friends house for an afternoon, confiding in me that although it's fun to go to a friends house, he likes coming home because he gets to be with his little brother again.

Children help you to see that these moments are what's really important in life, don't they?

Gosh, I just love my boys so much.

Monday Afternoon

Yesterday afternoon I returned home from work to find a very out of sorts and crying little boy anxiously awaiting my return.

It seemed that Charlie was still feeling unwell, even though his nose was no longer running. And an hour of playing at the park with Daddy and his brother earlier in the day had used up what little energy he had.

Although I had major amounts of work to catch up on thanks to a recent database issue that had just been resolved, I knew what I had to do.

I spent the afternoon on the couch with my littlest boy, reading a book and cuddling.




Sometimes the universe sends an unequivocal message to take some time out from the hectic pace of life.

It was just what we both needed.

What the Universe is Whispering to Me

Today I was bold.

Yep, that's right. Bold.

I've been trying to pay attention to the what the universe has been saying to me the last few days.

And I heard something.

Two things to be exact.

1. Be Bold. Daring. Move out of my comfort zone.

2. Purification. Time to detox my body, mind and life.

So starting with message one, I decided to be decisive regarding a recent invitation I'd received. It was an invite to celebrate the upcoming Winter Solstice.

This was from a group of lovely ladies that I had discovered online, and chatted with but not yet met in real life. It's easy to talk and chat and be friendly on the internet. I can take my time in what I say, formulate my replies, work out how to be witty/intelligent/light hearted/thoughtful etc etc.

But in real life interactions I don't have that luxury. I say things that later I have a little cringe over. Did I really say that, I wonder later? Yep sure did.

I long to have loads of friends, be the life and soul of the party but that's just not me it seems.
I'm an extrovert trapped in an introverts body.

I'm also a bit of a homebody.

I love my routines, I love my home, I love spending time with my family and going out and doing things interrupts these things.

So to accept this invitation to go and meet new people is a bold move for me. But I'm really very excited about going.

On to message number two (in three parts) :

Purification of my life - going ok so far. Am working on living more simply. That would count. Right?

Purification of my mind - going good too. Trying to live in the now. No stressing etc etc. Big tick for this one.

Purification of my body - ummmm.... the 3 coffees today, butterscotch pudding with ice cream for dessert, and a handful (very very large handful) of lollies earlier makes me think I need to do a bit more work toward achieving this particular one.

It's good to have a goal though.

A far off, somewhere in the distant type of goal.

Life is Slowing Down.

Well actually, I don't think it is.

Life is still as busy and full as ever. But it's me that's slowing down.

In a good way.

Not in an old person needing a walker sort of way.

I'm referring back to this recent post regarding 'living in the now'. As in, stopping my mind frantically jumping ahead to the hours and days to come, planning out what I have to do, when I have to do it, and how I'm going to do it.

Way too much mental energy was being wasted on this. So I resolved to try to 'live in the now'.
And blow me away - it actually works!

It's not yet easy to do, and I keep catching myself mentally cataloguing things to come (and once I even made a schedule for my whole entire day - but ssssh - don't tell anyone) but genereally, so far so good.

No more long lists of tasks and jobs to do. No more finding things to distract the boys so I can get on with my list of chores or work. I work when I can, relax when I can, and try to be more available for my boys.

I smile when they come to talk to me, stop what I'm doing and give them my full attention. Even if the topic is not particularly interesting to me.

Such as the minute differences between the two luxury sports cars that Kaiden is currently obsessing over.

Or the intricacies of the game Corey has been playing on my laptop.

I smile, and nod and try not to hurry their conversation so I can get back to things. I want to be there and be interested in their lives. I feel the moments I have with Kaiden still living here at home slipping through my fingers more and more each day.

I love my boys and want to provided them with loving warm memories of their childhood.

I'm feeling calmer, more centred and a lot less stressed.

AND (this is a biggie)...... even though I've stopped planning everything out in minute detail - THE WORLD IS STILL TURNING.

Who knew!

It's funny actually, whilst I was vacuuming earlier, words were swirling around in my brain about what I wanted to write in this post. But it's turned out nothing like what I had planned.

I can't even remember what I had planned to say.

I just know it wasn't this.

But that's ok.

I'm going with the flow.